(NOT) Funny Jokes

#1

A new chairman is talking to his secretary.
New Chairman: The older chairman who lead this factory before me was very successful. He made our factory gain a great profit. I have big shoes to fill.
Secretary: Umm, Sir, I think you have big feet too. Do you want to make your feet bigger? I think you just need to buy new shoes that suit your feet then.
New Chairman: ???

(have big shoes to fill = to have to meet high expectations about something that came before)

#2

Two students are going to school by bus.

Student 1: I have to study harder for next exam or I won't graduate this year.

Student 2: Why?

Student 1: I got F on last exam.

Student 2: Yeah, we are in the same boat.

Student 1: Eh? I think we are on a BUS, not BOAT.

Student 2: ???

(in the same boat = to be in the same unpleasant situation, has the same problem)

#3

Tom and Tim said to their mother that they go to school. In fact, they play truant. They go to the game center.

In the game center...

Tom: Tim, promise me. Don't ever tell Mom that we play truant.

Tim: Of course. It's our secret. I won't tell anyone. I won't let the cat out of the bag.

Tom: Eh? What do you mean? You bring cat? In your bag?

Tim: ???

(let the cat out of the bag = to tell something that is a secret, often without intending)

Well, maybe three jokes above are not funny. But, I still want to publish it, hehehe... I think, a native English won't make blunder like those above. But, a person who haven't understand English idiom may be will make blunder like those examples.