Old and Happy?

I'll be thirty-three tomorrow, if I don't die tomorrow. For the last few years, I always feel sad in my birthday, except last year. Usually I become cranky. I don't know why. Maybe I feel sad for the things I can't get. Maybe I feel sad because I haven't achieve anything while a lot of people of my age have achieve many things. Maybe I'm just anxious about my future. I don't know.

Last year, I spent my birthday in peace. No worries. No disappointment. But this year, today, I feel sad, and I don't know why. Unlike 2016-2017 period, my life has been peaceful since second half of 2018. I want my life to stay peaceful like that. Maybe I'm afraid that my peaceful life will change into chaos. Maybe I'm afraid I'll hit rock bottom like three or two years ago. Maybe that what makes me feel sad today. Maybe. I don't know.

Or maybe I just feel sad because I get older? Maybe. I need to remind myself that getting older is inevitable. Every millisecond we get older. We will never get younger. Right now, I am the youngest version I will ever be. I should stop being afraid of being old. Maybe I should stop counting my age?

Old. I should just accept my fate. I'm old and will always getting older. I just need to stay happy while getting older. Be healthy, be happy, get older, PEACEFULLY.